You may want info before a first date, but that doesn’t mean you’re entitled to have it. If someone isn’t allowed to have their gender at a key moment, they aren’t really allowed to have it at all. Cis people don’t own trans people’s info.

Ask ‘Will I regret not taking this step?’ and feel confident you’re making the best choice for yourself.

One function of ‘regret’ in anti-trans narrative. It’s the ‘good queer’/’bad queer’ distinction. The scapegoater projects; do they accept their own queerness? The idea of trans people is a scapegoat.